How Can You Watch That Thing?
by cheri1
Summary: 10Rose The Doctor comes face to face with one of the most horrifying things he's ever seen...a chick flick. One Shot.


The Doctor groaned as he got up off the console room floor and stretched his aching back. He had just got through doing another adjustment to the TARDIS's control panel. He smiled as he patted it and looked up at the ceiling.

"There ya go. Another little tune up," he said. "You seem to need them more and more. You're getting on in years, old girl."

He chuckled as the TARDIS let out an indignant grunt.

"Hey, don't feel bad, I'm no spring chicken myself."

The TARDIS burbled affectionately as he stroked the control panel.

"Ready to go on another adventure, old friend?"

The TARDIS let out another burble. The Doctor smiled.

"Me too," he said. "Let me see if I can locate Rose and get her opinion on where to go. I have so many good ideas but I want to know what she wants to do."

He let out a sigh as he put his hands on his back, gave it one more stretch and then went out of the control room towards the living quarters in search of Rose.

He found her in her bedroom. She was sitting on her bed watching a movie. He stood at the door smiling as he took in her beauty. He paused as he noticed tears running down her cheeks.

"Rose?" he said worriedly as he came into the room. "Rose, what's wrong?"

Rose stared at him, confused as he settled down next to her and took her hand in his.

"Nothing's wrong, Doctor."

The Doctor frowned.

"But, you're crying," he said.

"Oh, that," Rose replied, chuckling. "It's not me personally. I'm just watching a very sad movie."

The Doctor shook his head. He had never understood this human need to cry at sad movies. There were enough things in the universe to cry over. Still, he always looked for an opportunity to be close to Rose and so he scooted over, put his arm around her shoulder, and watched the movie with her. He frowned as he noticed a woman lying in a hospital bed.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked.

Rose sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with a Kleenex.

"She's dying. She has cancer," she said.

"Oh, that's too bad," the Doctor replied.

"Yes, and she's a single mother on welfare who is estranged from her family and the man she loves is in the military and he went on a secret mission and he's missing, so they're trying to locate him before it's too late and she dies and the children are taken away."

The Doctor raised his eyebrow.

"Am I correct in assuming that this is what you humans call a chick flick?" he said.

"Yeah, I guess so," Rose said, nodding.

The Doctor looked at her.

"And you enjoy watching these sob stories?" he asked in disbelief

Rose shrugged.

"Occasionally. Sometimes I just like to watch a movie and have a good cry."

The Doctor shook his head.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again. You humans are strange creatures," he said.

Leaning his head over onto Rose's shoulder, he watched quietly as Rose sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with the Kleenex.

The woman in the hospital bed looked up at the doctor as he entered the room.

"Has Roger been located yet, doctor?"

"I'm afraid not, Marie. He's still missing in action. They're searching for him, but there's not much hope of him being found alive."

Marie let out a series of heart wrenching coughs.

"I pray he comes home safely, doctor. I don't have much time left and I'm so afraid Sarah and Jonathan will be forced to go to a foster home and will never see their father again."

"Oh brother," the Doctor mumbled. "And I thought the Daleks were experts at torturing people."

The doctor laid his hand on Marie's shoulder. 

"You must hang on for their sake, Marie. Your children are depending on you. You are the only stable thing in their life right now."

"I'm trying, doctor, but every day I'm growing weaker. I don't know how much longer I can hold on."

The doctor grabbed her hands.

"You must fight, Marie. I know you can do it. You have so much courage. You are an example for us all."

The Doctor rolled his eyes.

Marie let out another series of gut wrenching coughs.

"I've got an idea," the Doctor said. "Why don't they go get a shotgun and put her out of her misery like they do for horses?"

Rose glanced at him as he chuckled. She shook her head and turned her attention back to the movie.

"Marie you must hang on," the doctor said, laying his hand on her hair. "I…I…love you."

The Doctor raised his eyebrow.

"No, doctor, don't say it."

"I must say it. These past few weeks that I've taken care of you; I've fallen hopelessly in love. Oh my darling, why do you wait for a man who may never come back when I can give you the world?"

"No, I can't. I love Roger."

"Don't be a fool," the doctor said, staring intently into her eyes. "I'm more a man than he ever will be. Just give me a chance and I will make you happy."

"Oh doctor," Marie said, stroking his face. "I mustn't, but I can't help the way I feel about you. You have been so good to me and I don't know how to repay you for all your kindness."

"I do," the doctor replied. "Make love to me."

"Hey, Rose?"

Rose looked at the Doctor.

"Yeah?"

"You got a bucket? I need to throw up all of a sudden."

"You don't like it, don't watch."

The Doctor's eyebrows rose.

"Actually, that sounds like a great idea. I don't think I can stomach much more of this sob fest," he said.

He kissed Rose on the cheek.

"When you're finished with this, come to the console room. I'm anxious to get going and I have a few ideas about where to go but I want to run them by you and get your opinion."

Rose nodded. The Doctor kissed her on the cheek again and smiled as he ran his hand down her hair affectionately. 

Walking to the door, he glanced back at her and watched as she dabbed her eyes with the Kleenex. As he stared at her, a mischievous thought formed in his head and with barely contained glee; he hurried off to the console room to wait for Rose.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"God that was so good." Rose said as she shut off the TV.

Wiping the last of the tears from her eyes, she headed off towards the console room to talk to the Doctor.

"Doctor?" she said, as she entered the console room and looked around. "The movie's over. I'm here."

She scanned the room.

"Where are ya?"

"Rose."

Rose's head snapped around when she heard the Doctor's voice coming from the other side of the console. She frowned. She couldn't see him.

She shrugged. He was probably on his back working on the console again. She walked around the console towards him. And stopped short…

The Doctor laid on the floor rolled up in a ball; a look of agony on his face.

"Doctor?" Rose said panicking. "What's wrong?"

"I took a walk outside while you were watching the movie. Got ambushed and shot. I'm…dying," he said between gritted teeth.

Rose's eyes were wide with terror.

"Oh no, Doctor," she said, gripping his shoulders.

"Rose, I don't have very much longer. I'm…about to…regenerate." 

Tears came to Rose's eyes.

"Oh God, not again. I just got used to this body," she said, stroking his hair. "Oh God, Doctor, who was it that hurt you?"

"I…don't know…couldn't…see. I…just came back in here as quick as I could."

Tears fell down Rose's face as she leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.

"Doctor, I want you to know that no matter what you look like in your next life, I'll always love you," she said.

The Doctor smiled.

"And I'll always love you. But…I have one request before I go."

"Anything," Rose said, sobbing.

"Take care of the children."

Rose froze and a frown spread over her face.

"Children? What children?"

"Our…children."

Rose stared at him as if he had already regenerated and grown two heads.

"What are you talking about? We don't have any children."

"But we do. We adopted them on Farfax 9. Lucy and Desi. Remember?"

Rose stared at him.

"Um…Doctor…is the regeneration process messing up your head or something?"

"Take care of them, Rose, in case something goes wrong with my regeneration," the Doctor said, clutching her arms. "I don't want to see our beloved children thrown into a whorehouse and enslaved."

Rose's eyes bugged out.

"Doctor, you aren't making any sense," she said.

"Goodbye my darling! Be sure to make the payments on the TARDIS while I'm gone. I don't want us to lose her."

Rose stared at him.

"I didn't know you were making payments on the TARDIS," she said.

"Oh yes, and I only have 10 payments left. Make them for me, my love. I don't want the repo man taking away our home. The children need a stable environment."

"Doctor, for the last time there are no children! I don't know what the regeneration's doing to your brain but we never adopted any kids and…"

She paused and stared at the Doctor as he suddenly let out a snicker. She narrowed her eyes.

"Wait a moment," she said.

She took the Doctor's hand and moved it off his chest as the Doctor stared up at her with an impish grin. Her eyes widened when she noticed no wound there. She looked up at the Doctor and saw him staring at her with glee.

"Damn you, Doctor!" Rose said, hitting him as the Doctor roared with laughter.

"What? You don't like being in your very own chick flick, Rose?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.

He covered his head and giggled as Rose slapped him repeatedly.

"You can be a real asshole sometimes, you know that?" she said, as she kept on slapping him.

"I'm sorry; Rose, but I couldn't help it. After watching part of that stupid movie, I had to play a prank on ya. You know how I am."

He took his hands away from his head as Rose stopped slapping and glared at him. He reached up and stroked her cheek.

"I'm sorry I scared you, honestly, I was just having you on," he said.

A grin spread across his face.

"And boy, did you fall for it too. I figured you'd catch on a lot sooner. Especially after I started mentioning the kids."

"Well, I thought the regeneration was messing with your mind like it did before," Rose said sheepishly.

The Doctor chuckled as he wiped the tear streaks from her eyes.

"I am sorry I scared you, my Rose," He said gently. "I just couldn't resist having a bit of fun. You know me in this body. I don't know when to stop."

He pulled her down onto his body and stroked her hair.

"But you have to admit those movies are cornball," he said, kissing the top of her head.

"I know. But I still love em," Rose said, "They're a guilty pleasure."

"Ah yes, I know something about that. I used to have a thing for jelly babies. That was my guilty pleasure."

"Really? You like jelly babies?"

"Liked. I ate so many of them through so many regenerations I finally got sick of them," he said.

He snuggled her close and kissed the tear streaks from her cheeks. They lay in silence for a few moments.

"Lucy and Desi?" Rose finally asked.

The Doctor chuckled.

"I Love Lucy is a good show," he said

He grinned at her.

"And you kept going after that. I figured that would make you suspect something was up," he said.

"Like I said, I thought the regeneration was warping your brain."

The Doctor chuckled.

"I guess this proves I'm a stupid ape after all, eh?" Rose said.

"Nah, you're not stupid. At least not as stupid as the rest of humanity."

"Thanks a Hell of a lot. That makes me feel so much better," Rose said sarcastically.

The Doctor smiled and kissed her cheek.

"You are one of the cleverest things I've ever seen in all my lives. You put other humans to shame," he said. "And I mean that."

Rose smiled.

"Now if we can only wean you off this cornball chick flicks you watch, you'll be even cleverer."

He giggled as Rose slapped his arm.

The Doctor sighed as he gave Rose a soft kiss on the lips. He pulled back and smiled at her.

"Well, Rose, where do you want to go next?" he asked. "Like I said before, I'm just itching to explore."

"It doesn't matter. Pick somewhere. You know better than me where we should go."

The Doctor nodded. Rose rolled off him and he helped her to her feet.

"How about Zaconia? They have some lovely parks with waterfalls and roman style statues," he said.

Rose smiled.

"Sounds good."

The Doctor grinned.

"Or we could go to Cornballia and see the widows and orphans auctions, and the cancer patient ward where the doctors fall madly in love with their patients and shag them in their beds, and the coal mines where the welfare mothers work 23 hours a day for pennies to support their illegitimate children and…"

He laughed as Rose slapped his back repeatedly.

"Ok, Zaconia it is." He said.

He giggled as Rose shook her head and rolled her eyes as she walked back to her bedroom.

"You know you love me!" he called out.

"I do love you, but some days you make it pretty bloody difficult!" Rose called back

The Doctor grinned at her as she left the console room. Chuckling, he imputed the coordinates in his computer and prepared to leave.

THE END.


End file.
